While I am at it: Dear young thugs,

I appreciate that you think I am "sexy" (*snort* I beg to differ on this point) but my kid's class trip is probably not the time. I realize I came in separate from the class and look much younger than I am but I really wasn't looking for a hookup.

Thanks anyway. I got a giggle out of it,
Mami at Main

Dear dogs,

You seem to be overjoyed with your lack of supervision this week but please stop barking at the neighbor's cats. I am all hopped up on cold medicine and don't need to be startled every few minutes. Oh and no chewing things.
I looked under the office desk moments ago and found leftover Halloween napkins strewn everywhere. Likewise with the rocks, stolen candy canes, and whatever else you can get your grubby little paws on.

Your grouchy human,
Dani'

p.s. while I am at it, please persuade the cat to stop climbing the Christmas tree.

Dear heart,

I know you don't like cold medicine but I really need to breathe out of my nose so I don't feel like I am slowly suffocating. Every time I get sick you flip around unnervingly, cold meds or no cold meds. I have lived long enough with arrhythmias to know you are all bump and no bite, so settle down will you!

Dani'

P.S. and don't take this as a challenge

Dear dogs..

Dear dogs,

Most days I love you guys terribly but today...well today you were just terrible.
I do not appreciate being forced to vacuum cat litter off the living room carpet. Not to mention the scrubbing of the said carpet that followed and the complete saturation with oxy carpet spray (lilac scent) of that area. All of this before 8am. I am sorely disappointed in you little cat poop munching hooligans.

Furthermore, sharing does not mean bringing me a cat turd, that by the way looks an awful lot like coconut covered dates..which I may never eat again.

Your angry owner,
Dani'